How to talk positive to yourself: in 4 steps

How we talk to ourselves matters. If you want to make positive changes, you need to talk positive to yourself and about yourself. For most people, negative self-talk has become a habit. So, learning how to change that takes practice. I will show you how to talk positive to yourself in 4 steps.


Why it matters?

Our thoughts become our actions & if we allow negative thoughts into our life, that is what our actions will represent. But the same is true with positivity. When we allow our thoughts to be positive, our actions will reflect that.

Learning to shift to positive self-talk can:

  • Allow you to reach your goals
  • Decrease anxiety and stress
  • Live the life that you want
  • Increase joy in your life
  • Improve your physical, mental and emotional health

How to talk positive to yourself: in 4 steps

  1. Awareness

    • pay attention to what you say to yourself
    • negative self-talk becomes a habit and is so automatic that we don’t even realize that we are doing it
  2. Reflect

    • get curious & ask yourself
    • how does that thought, or statement make me feel?
    • would I say this to my child, friend, etc?
    • does that thought, or statement help or hurt me?
  3. Replace

    • positive self-talk is not the same as fake positivity- we aren’t talking unicorns and rainbows here 🙂
    • try going from negative to neutral, and then shift to positive when it feels authentic
    • example:
      • negative- I am so out of shape, it’s disgusting
      • neutral- I get tired easily when I am working out
    • when you have a negative thought pop up, imagine what you would say to your friend if she or he said that
  4. Find new facts

    • every evening
      • write down 1-3 things that you appreciate about yourself or that you have done well that day
      • write down 1-3 specific things you are grateful for that happened in the last 24 hours
    • what are compliments that others give you?
    • write down positive affirmations & put them where you will see them every day
      • Examples:
        • I am in charge of my thoughts and behavior
        • Anything is possible in my life
        • I am worth investing in myself
        • I am allowed to feel good
        • Every day is an opportunity for greatness
        • I am allowed to feel my feelings
        • I will not criticize myself; I love myself for who I am
        • I will let go of my worries that I cannot control; I will focus my energy on what I can control

Remember that negative thinking is a habit. You are not a negative thinker; you are someone who has a habit of having negative thoughts. We can change our habits. Give yourself grace as you do this, the goal is not perfection, but giving ourselves a more positive space to be!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

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