January often feels like a fresh start—a blank slate filled with promise and opportunity. There is a lot of pressure from social media and society in general on setting ambitious goals with the promise of making all of your dreams come true. But let’s face it: how many of those resolutions actually make it past February?
If you’re nodding your head, wondering why your goals don’t seem to last, I have a simple, yet life-changing secret to share.
Are you ready?
It all starts with the words we use when approaching our goals.
Let me explain.
The Power of Kind Words
Take a common goal I often hear from clients: the desire to lose weight. Imagine the mindset shift that happens when you replace, “I need to lose weight because I don’t like how I look,” with, “I want to nourish my body because I deserve to feel my best.”
Do you feel the difference?
Approaching goals and habits from a place of love and kindness is not only more enjoyable—it’s far more sustainable.
Here are 4 steps to making this shift and build habits that truly last:
1) Start Small and Simple
Big changes are exciting but can quickly feel overwhelming. Instead of tackling everything at once, pick one manageable action to focus on.
For example:
- Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning.
- Stretch for five minutes before bed.
- Add one serving of vegetables to your meals.
Small, consistent actions create the foundation for lasting transformation. Over time, these tiny habits compound into meaningful progress.
2) Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
Would you criticize a close friend or loved one for missing a workout or indulging in dessert? Of course not.
Yet, how often do we speak harshly to ourselves?
The next time you catch yourself being unkind, pause. Ask, “What would I say to someone I care about in this situation?” Then, offer yourself the same compassion.
Kindness fuels motivation far better than guilt ever could.
3) Find Your “Why” and Connect It to Love
Dig deeper into the purpose behind your goals. Why does this habit or change matter to you?
For instance:
- Instead of saying, “I need to work out to look better,” reframe it as, “I want to move my body to feel stronger and have more energy for the things I love.”
- Instead of, “I should eat healthier,” try, “I want to nourish my body so I can show up as my best self for my family.”
Connecting your goals to a loving purpose makes them more meaningful and easier to stick with.
4) Pair Habits with Joy
Sometimes, building habits can feel like a chore. That’s where a concept called “Temptation Bundling” comes in, which I learned from James Clear’s Atomic Habits.
This involves pairing something you want to do with something you should do. Here are a few examples:
- Listen to your favorite podcast or audiobook only while exercising.
- Watch your favorite show while folding laundry.
- Sip your favorite coffee or tea while journaling or planning your day.
- Save your social media scrolling for time spent on a treadmill or stationary bike.
- Enjoy a small treat, like dark chocolate, while writing tomorrow’s to-do list.
By attaching joy to your habits, they’ll feel less like obligations and more like moments of self-care.
The Key to Lasting Change
The secret to lasting habits isn’t in chasing perfection. It’s in treating yourself with kindness and respect, even when things don’t go as planned.
When you approach your goals with love, you build a foundation rooted in self-compassion. This mindset shift allows you to grow sustainably, without the pressure of guilt or shame.
Your Turn
What’s one habit you’d like to nurture this month?
I’d love to hear from you—reply and let me know! Let’s make this January (and beyond) a time of meaningful, lasting change together.
Here’s to a kinder, more empowered 2025!
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D I S C L A I M E R Anything that I discuss about making any lifestyle changes is from my own experience and/or other clients personal experiences and may not be suited for you. It is strongly recommended that you consult with your health professional before making changes in your own life. By engaging in anything that I talk about, you agree that you do so at your own risk.
