In 2019 my word of the year was-JOY!! (see my post here about my word of the year) Joy is different from happiness- which is based off of if things that are going well, but joy remains even if there are hard things happening. Truly living in joy is not about making sure things are always great. That is not the point. It’s about remaining there even when things aren’t. Now, you might be saying- that sounds all great, but how do I do it? I’m so glad you asked, because I have 6 simple ways to discover joy.
6 simple ways to discover joy:
1. Have a gratitude journal-
Pick a number and write that many things each day that you are grateful for. It can be 1 or 10. The point is to do it daily. What I have found is that the more I do this, the more I find during my day that I am grateful for. My focus is on finding gratitude, so it makes those things that I am grateful for even more apparent.
2. Do something in nature.
Watch the sunrise or the sunset
Go on a hike
Sit and read a book outside
Ride a bike
Take your dog for a walk
3. Perform daily acts of kindness
Something as small as petting a dog, smiling at someone or saying hello, or something as big as paying for someone’s groceries. When we are being kind to others, it is really hard not to be joyful.
4. Simplify your life
Prioritize what’s important in your life. It’s okay to say no. I used to be one of those people that would say yes to everything that I was asked to do. And then I would be resentful. I then I would become a martyr.
When someone asks for you to make a commitment to do something, take a second or overnight to think about it.
Ask yourself-
- How will this impact my life?
- What will I have to say no to by saying yes to this?
- Would saying yes to this help align your life to how you want it to look?
In a recent pod cast I heard something that really stuck with me and was eyeopening- mainly because I had done ALL of these things, many times. Ask your self what your TRUE intention is when saying yes to something. Is is to be a people pleaser, is it to feel needed, is it because of shame- (if I don’t say yes to this then they will think I am a bad mom, bad friend, etc) or is it because you want to and you have asked yourself the above questions (1. how will this impact my life, 2. what will I have to say no to, by saying yes to this and 3. would saying yes to this help align my life to how I want it to look)
These can be hard questions, but give your self a second to think about it before automatically saying yes. When you say yes to everything, then nothing is important. So pick the things that you really want to be doing, those things that align with your life, that add joy to your life and do those!!
5. Slow down and live with intention
That word- intention, gets used a lot! So what does it mean to live with intention? It means to appreciate what you are doing in your life. Slow down. Some simple ways to do this:
While you are eating- put down your phone, talk to the people at your table, taste the food that you are putting in your mouth.
Single task- in a world that multi tasking is important, try to do only the thing that you are working on right now. This one is a hard one for me. Multi-tasking is how I function!! But I am trying to single task when I can.
Meditate- there are lots of great ways to do this. For me using an app is helpful. I need someone to just tell me what to do, because meditating does not come natural to me. There are a couple of apps that I have found super easy to use for this.
Simply Being
Calm
6. Plan something that you are looking forward to
This can be as simple as coffee with a friend or as big as a vacation. The point is having something in your plans that makes you smile!
Some of my favorite quotes about joy:
“Joy does not simply happen to us, we have to choose joy, and keep choosing it everyday.” ~Henri Nouwsen
“Joy is the happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens.” ~David Steinol-Rast
“The joy we have, has little to do with the circumstances of our lives, and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” ~Russel M Nelson
“It is not joy that makes us grateful, it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”
Did any of these tips resonate with you? What are things you are doing to lead a joyful life? I would love to hear from you!