I remember back when I found myself newly single at 38. I was completely, 100% convinced that I would never be in a relationship again. It wasn’t dramatic—it was just something I couldn’t imagine happening. People told me I would change my mind, but I felt very grounded in my plan. I had created a little world where I thought I had everything figured out, and I was sure I didn’t need—or want—anything to disrupt it.
Then I met Seth, who is now my husband.
I’ll never forget the moment where I felt like I had two paths laid out in front of me. One was familiar and safe. It was the bubble I had built to protect my heart. The other one? It felt uncomfortable, vulnerable, and scary—but it also felt open and full of possibility.
And I am so grateful I chose the latter.
This experience made me reflect deeply on the power of mindset and how it shapes our entire life. I could have stayed in a fixed mindset, where my beliefs and fears created boundaries that kept me from evolving. But instead, I allowed myself to be curious, to explore, and to believe that maybe—just maybe—there was something more. I allowed myself to listen to my inner knowing and what I truly wanted. I said no to fear leading my choices.
This shift has repeated itself in many areas of my life. Every time I’ve led with curiosity and openness, I’ve found growth, connection, and joy on the other side.
A disempowered mindset usually stems from a real experience—a moment that left you hurt, disappointed, or afraid. It can start as a coping mechanism but slowly hardens into a habit, one that leaves you feeling:
- Resentful and powerless
- Like everything is personal
- Stuck in blame and unable to move forward
- Defensive when offered support
- Paralyzed when change is needed
- Always bracing for the worst-case scenario
Over time, this kind of mindset can lead to loneliness, isolation, low self-esteem, and even self-destructive behavior.
I’ve been there.
But I’ve also found that with intention and compassion, we can shift. Here are five things that have helped me move toward a more empowered mindset:
1. I Showed Myself Compassion
Learning self-love—something I wrote about recently in this blog post—has been foundational. I started giving myself the same grace and kindness I’d offer a close friend. This isn’t something that happens once and it’s done. It’s a daily practice that I continue to grow in.
2. I Started an Intentional Gratitude Practice
At first, the idea of gratitude felt like someone telling me to “just be thankful,” and honestly, that felt dismissive. But what I’ve learned is that intentional gratitude is different. Every morning, I write down 1–3 small things from the past 24 hours that made me smile. They don’t have to be big. In fact, they usually aren’t.
This practice has helped me see that life is layered—yes, there can be stress and sadness, but there can also be joy. Both can be true at the same time.
3. I Evaluated My Actions
The only thing I truly have control over is how I show up. When I feel wronged or upset, I pause and ask:
- How could I have shown up differently?
- Did I clearly communicate what I needed or felt?
- What can I learn from this in light of my values?
- How can this situation grow me?
These questions help me stay empowered—focused on how I want to respond, even when I can’t control what others do.
4. I Started Journaling Daily
Giving myself space to process my thoughts on paper has been a life-changing practice. When I’m not sure where to begin, I use journal prompts to help me get started. (Here’s a blog post I wrote with some of my favorites if you’d like to try it, too.) Having a regular journal practice does for my mind what workouts do for my body. Just like with working out, I might not always feel like it, but consistency is what matters most. Some days I may write a couple of sentences, and some days it’s pages. It helps me get to know myself and my thoughts more. Learn what my inner voice is and to be able to decipher it when fear and anxiety try to take over.
5. I Allowed Myself to Change My Mind
One of the most freeing things I’ve embraced is the ability to change my mind. I can be completely sure about something, and still leave room for growth, new experiences, and evolving perspectives. That’s not weakness—it’s wisdom. Knowing that I have space for this is allows me to have different opinions than someone and still be open and curious to what they are saying. My goal going into a conversation is not about who is right and wrong, but connection. This shift made this possible.
A Final Thought
If anything I shared resonates with you—if you’ve found yourself in a mindset that feels stuck, defensive, or tired—I want you to know this: change is possible. You’re not alone. And you’re allowed to grow, to evolve, and to choose a new way forward.
If you’re curious about how to apply this in your own life, I’d love to help. Click here to book a time to us to figure this out together!
Thank you for being part of this space. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share and grow alongside you. If there’s something you’re loving in my posts or something you’d like to see more of, just hit reply and let me know—I love hearing from you.
With gratitude,
Faith
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