Have you ever started a new routine feeling motivated and hopeful—only to drop it a few weeks later?
Maybe it was a morning routine, a going to bed earlier routine, an exercise habit, gratitude journaling, or a nutrition reset. At first, it felt exciting… and then life happened.
If that sounds familiar, I want you to know this:
You’re not failing at routines.
Most of us are simply starting in the wrong place.
We’re taught to begin with what we should do—
instead of starting with how we actually want to feel.
And that one shift changes everything.
Why Routines Often Feel So Hard
Many routines are built on pressure.
We tell ourselves things like:
- “I need to wake up earlier.”
- “I should work out every day.”
- “I have to be more consistent.”
These routines are rule-based and rooted in guilt and shame.
They don’t account for:
- low-energy days
- busy seasons
- emotional bandwidth
- being human
So when the routine eventually falls apart, we assume we’ve failed—when in reality, the routine was never designed to support real life in the first place.
Start With How You Want to Feel
Instead of asking:
“What should I do?”
Try asking:
“How do I want to feel?”
Some common answers might be:
- grounded
- calm
- energized
- clear-headed
- supported
- present
- confident
This step matters because routines exist to support your experience of life—not to check a box.
When you start with a feeling, the routine finally has a purpose that’s personal to you.
Create a Baseline Action (Your Non-Negotiable Minimum)
Once you know how you want to feel, ask:
“What is the smallest action that supports this feeling?”
This is your baseline.
Your baseline should be:
- realistic on busy days
- simple enough to never feel overwhelming
- doable even when life feels messy
Examples of baseline actions:
- one deep breath
- a 5-minute walk
- stretching for 2 minutes
- writing one sentence
- drinking a glass of water
Here’s the most important part:
When you do the baseline, the routine still counts.
This is how routines become sustainable instead of fragile. When you are able to do something consistently it is much easier to grow and add to it if that is what you want to do.
Create an Ideal Action (Your Full Expression)
This step is optional and not required in order to create a routine.
If it feels right to you, ask:
“What would I like this routine to look like?”
This is your ideal.
Your ideal might be:
- a full workout
- a longer journaling session
- a nourishing, intentional meal
- a full morning or evening routine
The key difference?
Your ideal is an option—not an expectation.
You’re not failing when you don’t reach it.
You’re simply adapting to the day you’re having and to what life is bringing your way.
Let Your Routine Flex With Your Real Life
Some days you’ll meet the ideal.
Some days you’ll meet the baseline.
Both count.
This approach removes:
- all-or-nothing thinking
- guilt and shame
- the constant feeling of “starting over”
You don’t quit the routine—you adjust the level of care.
And that’s what allows routines to last and serve a purpose that creates meaning in our lives.
Some Examples
Here is one from my own life that
If you want to feel grounded:
- Your baseline might be one deep breath with your feet on the floor.
- Your ideal might be a 10-minute walk or quiet reflection.
Both support the same feeling—just at different levels.
A Closing Thought
You don’t need a perfect routine.
You need one that supports your REAL Life.
Start there.
And let it grow with you.
How I Support Women in this work
Coaching- what best describes you:
- I want coaching and I’ve experienced infidelity and am looking for a way forward
- I want coaching that is focused on making changes with nutrition
- I want coaching to improve my overall life
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Be well,
Faith
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D I S C L A I M E R Anything that I discuss about making any lifestyle changes is from my own experience and/or other clients personal experiences and may not be suited for you. It is strongly recommended that you consult with your health professional before making changes in your own life. By engaging in anything that I talk about, you agree that you do so at your own risk.